“I Am Sad”
Recover from having to “Be Happy” all the time
Mindful Sadness Can Be Your Greatest Gift
By Gina Kloes
“Be Happy” - I Am Over Hearing It
Everywhere you turn, there is a flood of things reminding you to “Be Happy.”
Frankly, I am over it.
The classic song, “Don’t Worry. Be Happy.”
Endless books on “how to be happy.”
Movies with happy endings.
Our cultures, society, family and friends have well meaning intentions but the constant pressure to be happy can be exhausting.
In her book ______ Marianne Williamson says, “Our civilization has an immature and neurotic obsession with always trying to be happy. And yet sometimes it is through having cried our teas that we can see at last our blessings.”
“Just Get Over It” - I Am Over Hearing That Too
Many of us are taught that to be happy, we need to do more, be more and have more. Living in this modern technologically advanced world and our constant need to live up to everyone else’s standards can be a huge challenge. When we have those moments of sadness and feelings of defeat, so often we hear, “Just get over it.” I am over hearing that too!
Sadness is Part of Our Human Experience
The truth is, living in this world can often be heart breaking and sad. Know this - that sadness doesn’t have to break us. It is one of the human emotions that everyone experiences from time to time.
The Fantasy in Social Media
For those of us that look at social media. Yes - I do too. More often than not, we see happy faces, celebrations and the “good life.” If we are feeling down, these views can at times lead us to believe that we are the only sad person out there.
Here is a hint: Rarely do people post about their sadness and grief.
You Are Not Alone
The truth is everyone feels sad at times. Even the happiest person you know has had moments of sadness. Its part of the human experience.
If you feel sad at times, you are human.
Numbing or Denying Sadness - It Doesn’t Work
Sometimes, we avoid or deny feeling sad. We put on a happy face and pretend everything is ok.
Other times, we seek out a way to numb ourselves - drugs, alcohol, video games, sex, food, sleep - what has been your choice to numb the sadness.
I can tell you from experience. It doesn’t work.
Emotions Buried Alive Never Die
After the numbing wears off, the sadness pops up again.
Know that emotions buried alive never die.
The Gift in Sadness
But, there is good news.
Sadness does not need to break us. Even deep sadness is part of being human. Denying that part of us can be even more exhausting than embracing the gifts that sadness can bring us. Yes GIFTS.
The question should not be “How can I stop this pain of sadness?” That leads you to the numbing plan above.
Questions that can serve you:
“What good is this sadness revealing to me?”
“What does this sadness want me to understand?”
“What is the gift in this sadness?”
Finding The Meaning in the Answer
To honestly find the gift in the sadness can lead to relief from the pain. As the peak performance expert Tony Robbins says, “Where focus goes, energy flows.” Continue to ask yourself these questions, knowing the wholesome right answer will come when the time is right.
A Passage - Not a Place to Stay.
Sometimes in moving through the sadness, you might need to be gentle with yourself, allowing you to move at your pace to find the truthful answers to those questions. Know that sadness is a passage not a place to stay. Sadness is a chapter in your life, not the whole book.
Learning From Our Pain
When we learn the lesson from our pain, we grow.
When we open to the possible answers, we grow.
When we move forward as an individual and as part of our humanity, we grow as a race.
When we move through the darkness of our pain, we are even stronger going forward and appreciate the lighter times in light.
Marianne Williamson said it beautifully, “You do not get rid of darkness by hitting it with a baseball bat. We only get rid of darkness by turning on the light.”
You Can Grow From Your Sadness
Whether you grow from your sadness or give up to it lives in the meaning you find in the sadness. There is always a gift.
There is a balance between allowing ourselves to truly feel sad while at the same time committing to finding the gift and the lesson.
Friedrich Neitsche once said, “To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering.” What is the most healthy nourishing meaning you can find. It’s there… Can you dig a little deeper to find it? It almost always is finding the love and care deep within that sadness…
If you are feeling heartbreak, can you find the fact that you know how to love deeply? What a gift to be able to feel love
If you are feeling grief from the passing of someone, can you find that you are able to honor and appreciate the life the life they lived and take that forward with you for others?
If you are feeling alone, can you find the gift of your own company and what you personally can offer this world? Even a smile or a kind gesture towards another person can change a life?
If you feeling ill or physically challenged, can you find a moment to feel compassion for yourself and others? Maybe reach out to someone who is going through the same thing and just needs their spirits lifted to?
Nurturing Your Sadness to Find the Meaning
Can you find a moment to nurture yourself in your sadness?
A short walk to appreciate the sky?
A prayer to connect with God or the Universe?
A moment of quiet or meditation to hear the answer you need?
A call to someone to talk it through? Calling a hotline?
A moment to feel compassion for your own heart?
All of these are possible gifts. What is yours?
Be Well, Be Joyful, Be Inspired…
Have a Beautiful Day…
Focus . . . Create . . . Innovate . . .
ARE YOU READY TO CHILL OUT?
I help overwhelmed entrepreneurs become GAME CHANGERS by incorporating strategic mindful techniques in their Businesses, their Relationships, and their Lives.
As an international thought leader, Branson Centre for Entrepreneurship Mentor, Tony Robbins Lead Trainer & Deepak Chopra Vedic Master Educator, Gina is a catalyst for exponential leadership, massive joy and creating mindful lives and business enterprises we are proud to pass on to future generations.